Let’s talk boundaries … For most of the women I coach, this is the number one thing they struggle with.
A lack of healthy boundaries leads to overwhelm and burnout, and resentment.
While we are running around doing everything for everyone else, we are putting our own needs last.
Often, when we try to give ourselves time and space, we are met with resistance from others and feelings of anxiety and guilt.
This is why it is important to work through the “why” of a lack of boundaries in our lives. This can open up the ability to recognize our own behaviours and allow others to take advantage and take up all our energy.
Then we can start to put some healthy boundaries into our life, so we can rest, breathe and restore!
Need some help? Here are some steps if you want to set some boundaries for yourself.
Recognize your feelings. It can be hard to set boundaries around something when you don’t know how you feel about it. Slow down and tune in with yourself so you can identify what you’re actually feeling.
Identify what you want to say. Once you’ve identified your feelings and have sorted them out, now it’s time to try and sort out what you want to say. Is a simple ‘no’ appropriate, or do you need to say more? This will depend on the situation, your relationship with a person, and how you think they might respond.
Get grounded. It would be best to be calm and confident in what you want to say before you get into the conversation. If you are overwhelmed, anxious or angry, it’s impossible to get a positive result. The person you are trying to communicate with be defensive and will most probably put up walls and have stopped listening to you.
Say it. Be clear, but you need to get it off your chest. Otherwise, it will fester, and you will feel resentful towards that person/s and situation.
Set those boundaries!
-- Sandra, TGC Coach